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" ... Auteri: I think people immediately assume that because I write about sex, I have an uncomplicated relationship with it. That I love it. That I'm having a lot of it. That I am awesome at it. I've actually carried a lot of shame around this for a very long time. I mean, how lame is it to admit that, despite being a sex writer, I feel awkward in the bedroom, have a low sex drive and prefer the most vanilla of sex when I want it at all? I'm sure a lot of this comes from my first, terrible, unhealthy sexual relationship. My boyfriend always belittled me in the bedroom. He belittled my inexperience. My unreadiness for certain acts. My quiet. For as long as I've been having sex, I've been feeling shame around it. I don't really get into all that when in casual conversation. I don't owe anyone that trauma. I prefer to write about it. Send it out into the world. Let people digest it at a remove from me. If anything, I tell people that I write about how women are sexualized are against their will. Or about how female sexuality has been pathologized and medicalized. Or about the gender imbalances in reproductive health access. It immediately becomes pretty evident that I'm not writing about wild nights at the latest sex party. ... "