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" ... 6. Can I call you Q for short? When someone mispronounces a colleague of color’s name or asks if they mind being called something else (because they’re not willing to expend the energy to learn to pronounce a new name), it again sends the message that they view the person of color as different. It feels like name shaming and can certainly create distance and tension. This type question feels rhetorical and puts the colleague of color in a really difficult position. They’re much more likely to just say “yes” and internalize the frustration rather than make an issue of it. ... "